Thursday, December 3, 2009

freight train

You can see it far off in the distance, barreling down on you... churning steel... Insurmountable failure, chasing down the same hopes and dreams with more fervour than it is possible for you to muster... At the moment posing no imminent threat, though it seems only to be accelerating as it approaches. Your family and friends walk beside you on either side of the tracks without concern, or maybe completely unwitting, resigned to the fact that the path has chosen you... The pitch ascends as the doppler shift becomes more apparent, but still it all seems too avoidable, the tall imposing freight train is still about a mile back... There is plenty of time to side step disaster, failure... demise. The tracks lay stretched out in front of you going off to nowhere, some meaningless node of a town miles from here, but completely identical. Walmarts, McDonalds, Exxon... Thousands of interchangeable faces with interchangeable personalities... Wearing the same clothing, eating the same food, working the same job, dating the same girl... Tearing her little cunt apart, leaving you a hole of moistened flesh begging to be fucked, begging to be yours, nobody elses... The words flow like they hold meaning...
The tracks begin to rattle an infrequent deep pitch... Each step further sealing an unavoidable doom... Yet there is never a doubt espoused, you have chosen this path.
For a moment its like you hadn't seen it coming... The sharp pain tearing through your body upon the initial impact... The pain is familiar, the manifestation of years, lacking satisfaction, lacking meaning... Just decades of corporate endorsed wars... Wars of attrition on foreign soil, the war for your soul domestically... You feel yourself being dragged against the stone railroad bed again and it strikes you that you've been here before... Over and Over and Over... Its never meant anything, it wasn't meant to, nobody notices for more than a fleeting instant and then all memory that you once existed is washed away with the first rains of spring... He(who-ever he happens to be), will sweep her off her feet and soon she'll forget you too, giving her moistened flesh hole to somebody else. The new, "soul mate."
For this moment saver your last moment, the pinnacle of your ability to affect another person's consciousness, but never believe you are not expendable... Your just one of a thousand animals being dragged from some monstrous machine at this same moment... One of Millions, maybe billions, destroyed by forces greater than the self. It seems there is no battle that can be won... Defeat will take you.
The world will win and you will be devoured by maggots in it's entrials.